A shock break up of a girlfriend recently with her long term partner has gotten me thinking about relationships, of the intimate variety. And let me prefix this by saying I am by no means an expert on relationships. The closest relationship I currently have is with a choc peanut butter protein ball recipe I googled recently.
But I digress. Relationships. It’s gotten me thinking. And please let me say this is based upon MY experience with my relationships and those of my family and friends. And clients. And random people I overhear speaking at the gym. Do we (and by “we” I mean all the strong, savvy, independent, intelligent and gorgeous women I interact with daily) put all our eggs in the one basket too soon? It seems to me women are biologically pre-programmed to want to be in a relationship. I have been wondering, is this because it provides a perceived sense of security and stability that we are currently choosing not to provide ourselves? Because I do believe that we have within our extensive capacity the absolute ability to provide every emotional feeling we need. Advancing my thinking further (my head is starting to hurt), which type of security is it that we perceive we “need” the most? Is it the emotional security we covet? Or financial? Or physical? Or mental? Or all of the above?
Whatever security we are seeking, it has been my experience, that at the first sign of any kind of positive reinforcement from our male fancy we start buying bridal magazines and daydreaming about who our first born child will most look like. I was not immune to this. I was young and fanciful once and did allow my eggs to find their way into another’s basket. In my haste to belong to another, I sacrificed my independence for the novelty of, in my case, emotional security. It was so foreign to me that at one stage I actually suggested we have separate bedrooms and then we could “sleepover” when the fancy arose. I thought the idea was pure genius (because frankly ladies, who wants to share a bathroom with a boy?) and I was completely put out by the mirthful response that ensued.
Another nugget of pure genius I have managed to come up with, through my extensive experience with relationships (I’ve had one of any note), is that I do think that it’s VERY important for men to put their eggs into the basket first. One by one, we need to let them drop their eggs in. I feel it’s important for a relationship to have a courting period where the man can feel he’s made chase and won. He’s caught the big chicken and taken it in to roost. And then you know what a rooster does. He crows! So ladies, you just keep laying the eggs into your basket and let him do all the crowing.
As a result of having to share a bedroom and bathroom in my past relationship I have decided to never again put all my eggs in one basket. In fact, I don’t think I’ll put any in. I’m going to have my own basket with my own eggs and the lucky fellow can have his basket with his eggs. If he chooses to put one or two of his eggs in my basket I’m not going to complain. I’ll just charge him rent!